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This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit
rough)...You definitely feel the guy's pain! An actual letter to the
passport office...
Dear sirs,
I'm in the
process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How
is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and
knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet, the
Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've
filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my
driver's license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all
those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being
allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those
insufferable census forms that are done at electi
on times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's
name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely
astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me,
I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address.
What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin'
there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't
want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and
park my ass on a
sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I
plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to
do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as
hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune
of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the
same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be to damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather
have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads
cut off,
then find some asshole to confirm that it's
really me on the damn picture - you know,the one where we're not
allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, you know why we
can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed
- An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone
to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country
since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30
years and have had security clearances up the vingyang ........
However, I have to get someone'important' to verify who I am - you
know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
Sincerely,
You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who.
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